How to deal with offering a “same same but different” coliving of experience?

Cause we're human.

“jodie is here!”

Anton pushes the living room door open, and a new Coliver follows in. It's dark, and a few of us turn our heads and wave. Most of us are gathered on the couch watching Back To The Future III on the Big screen - It’s the yearly re-run.

It takes me half a second to go into host mode again, jump up, cross in front of the screen and go towards Josie. I show her her Room and give her a quick tour of the house - it's relatively late; she's had a full day of work and travelling. I go straight to the basics_ Bathrooms, kitchen, shared pantry, counting, laundry room.

The next day, I leave for a week to visit my family in France. I trust the colivers and Anton will take good care of her and complete this very uninspiring tour. And yet I worry.

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I worry that Jodie's experience will not start in the best way_ That this will impact her whole Stay.
Surely, I give too much weight to my mere presence. I tell myself I am human_ It's okay not to be 100% all the time, but then again, so is she. She paid the same as everyone else. Doesn't she deserve the same welcome? True, it's not my fault she arrived late. Not really hers either (trains). So, how does one deal with offering a “same same but different” kind of experience?

Step one: Get over yourself

First, I should probably not think of myself as an essential piece of the puzzle.

the piece we thought we had lost

We have a plan with Anton. He leads on the event season; I lead on the coliving season. This means I have my systems in place for when people arrive, leave and everything in between, from Slack messages and Sunday pancakes to sheets and laundry days.
Somehow, I have managed to convince myself that I am the only one who can do it all. Or, should I say, the one that can do it the way I want it to be done. AKA the perfect way.

Obviously, Anton is fully capable of taking care of everyone while I am gone. The guests are also adults, traveling the world and fully able to handle themselves.

So, getting over myself should be the first step. While I believe I bring a little “je ne sais quoi”, I am not essential to their survival.

Step 2: You reap what you sow.

Unless it is the very first week of your coliving, and if so, you should probably avoid going on a trip so early on, some sense of community should already be felt.

I should trust that the colivers forming the community will take care of the latest person arriving and do their best to make them feel welcome, just like we did with them.
And I have seen them do it.
Several weeks later, Natalia arrived late, and I did not have the opportunity to show her the grounds. I forgot to do it the next day and a few days later I came to see her and apologised, offering to do a tour of the land whenever she had time: “I am very lucky to be in this coliving, everyone is so nice, Raam already showed me around” she said. I was as proud as a mamma being told her kid had lent their toy at daycare.

Step 3: Be honest

Few things surpass honesty and vulnerability in building trust and community. Simply telling the guest that you wished you could have onboarded them more effectively, that you will ensure someone will take care of them, and that you will devote time to them upon your return helps tremendously.
They just need to know you don’t usually do it this way and that they will be taken care of somehow to feel safe again.

Step 4: “Same same but different” is what defines Coliving

At the end of the day, acting human is usually what makes a coliving experience so interesting and enjoyable.

The ability to truly be ourselves without fearing to be judged too harshly, even as the host.

We are not a hotel.
Our USP is not a cookie-cutter stay but a human experience, and as a human, change is the only constant. All we can do is try our best every time, apologise when we fail and try to be better next time.

Step 5: Trust the other human

In all honesty, all I had to do was trust Jodie.
In hindsight, I don’t think my suboptimal onboarding affected her experience, and if it did, she never showed it.
She turned out to bring so much magic to Selgars…
It was very hard letting her go.
And guess what… I missed her offboarding too…

The (very) good witch

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